Bed wars

The Chief Minion was up late this morning. She wasn't happy last night   - we were up late which is unusual and she had laid out a little banquet of cheese and mini cheddars (I am fond of both these delights) and some foul smelling liquid that looked like water but had bubbles and smelled vaguely of cucumbers. She refers to this as her naughty tipple -gin and tonic. I would never drink it -smells like poison to my sensitive nose. I stared longingly at her until she broke a bit off a cheddar and put it in front of me to scoff. She then moaned and groaned at the moving pictures of tiny men in shorts moving a ball with their feet. Most strange. Anyway, after releasing the pterodactyls and serving my breakfast she scuttles back to her nest with a cup of tea - I follow and nestle in my spot on the bed. She has tried many times to make me sleep on the inferior side of the bed but I'm not having any of it. My side is nearest the door for ease of access and also near my glass of water which is on the floor by the door (the floor!!). This makes me laugh because what she doesn't know is that I regularly climb on the nightstand and gently lap the water from her posh glass that is kept near the light and the talking box that starts early in the morning most days. Sometimes she will move me to the other side but I immediately claw my way back and squash my body in whatever space is available on the right side. I stay here squashed on a sliver of bed until eventually she gives in, she moves to the inferior side with a sigh and I'm back in the best spot. I stretch out all my limbs and make sure the frill is hanging loose. Time for a power nap I think...